Mom Guilt. It sucks. This is a very personal blog for me to write, but I figure others might feel the same way, guilty about having a second child.
I’m about 9 weeks from my second baby boy. My first son, Brandon is 23 months old.
As time gets closer, I find myself getting more and more emotional and guilty about no longer having my Brandon all to myself. We’ve had an incredible two years while I’ve had the opportunity to stay at home. As I’ve seen Brandon grow from a tiny baby to a little boy, I cannot imagine him right now as a big brother. The words big brother make him sound so old, but he’s my little baby!
Since Brandon was about 6 months old, my husband put Brandon to bed every night so I could pump. For the past month, Brandon has been insistent on me putting him to bed instead. Every night he reaches for my hand to walk him to his room and we rock on the rocking chair and pray before bed. I’m soaking in all these moments as much as possible while trying not to just walk around crying all the time.
I’m a crier, so it would be no surprise to anyone that knows me well, that an incoming baby makes me emotional. My loving husband taught our son to say “Boo” when I cry to convince me to laugh instead. Let’s just say there has and will be a lot of booing in the next few months.
I’m so excited to meet Brandon’s baby brother, but at the same time I know I’m saying goodbye to constant quality alone time with Brandon. I’ll miss that time, but I will treasure the many precious brotherly moments to come.
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